Voices in the Parlor

Eorin wakes up from his nap to see his friends gone. He asks the Kobolds where they went, and one offers to take him to the entrance. Eorin climbs down the ladder and finds the door locked. He investigates and realizes it requires a magnet to open. He sighs and climbs back out to go and buy a magnet. 5 silver later, Eorin opens the door to find sewers! Eorin realizes that the sewer is bizarrely clean due to the oozes that are about. He sees two corpses in one, but quickly determines that they're not anyone he knows. He comes to a "Y" intersection, looks directly down, and sees nothing but lots of murky water. He goes to the left and finds a hobo den with a bugbear corpse. There's an odd tunnel that leads to the city graveyard.

Eorin then goes to the right and finds another area with a filter, but it doesn't lead anywhere other than a pipe system. Eorin returns to the intersection. Eorin goes into the water, and is surprised how well  he can see. Must be a side effect from the dragon's blood. He can see that there are three more sections underwater similar to above, and a strange pillar sticking out of the middle. He sees a teleportation room and goes through. He finds himself in an unremarkable room with a staircase. The staircase leads to the parlor of a very wealthy person's home. He goes through the only door and find himself looking upon a large orgy scene being enacted by statues, with Orias attempting to participate. Illythan and Kyle whip towards him, thinking he might be a threat, before lowering their guard. Orias notices something with the statues and freaks out, quickly extracting himself. He tells Eorin that he fears they might have once been real people.

Eorin takes a closer look and determines that yes, they were once people. He informs the rest of the party and says that he can't reverse the petrification effect. He also says that there is no mass petrification spell, so whomever cast this was very, very careful and skilled. Or a basilisk slithered through the room. Zelara says that she feels as though they're still underground. She doesn't hear anything suspicious at the first door. At the second she hears bubbling water. And at the third she hears nothing. Orias checks the second door for traps. He doesn't find any, and we open it.

It's a very nice kitchen! It is stocked with the finest of supplies, and there's an open trap door to a storage room. Kyle sneaks over to the trap door and looks down. The room looks like it has been flooded and repaired. It's mostly storage and there's a table with somethings that have been cut up. There's a root vegetable that's only been half cut up. Orias looks into the pot and sees vegetables and sausage cooking in broth. It looks like the stew was started today, but that the veggies were sautéed first. In the cellar, we find a sausage making machine with bones from normally eaten animals nearby. There is a masterwork set of kitchen knives and many, many crates as well. Kyle sees that some of the crate lids look disturbed and not put back properly. They all contain vegetables that were in the soup. We can't find anyone down here. Orias finds a case that's about the size of a bread box that looks like ancient Tien art. It doesn't have any traps, but has a pressure plate under it which connects to a series of wires which would drop the thing holding all the masterwork knives. Orias goes and gets the thing that you use to retrieve bread from the oven to get the box. The trap sets off and comes clattering to the floor. The box says "The Only Blade That Shall Bring You Happiness" on it. There's a big cleaver inside. It doesn't look pretty, and the whole thing is one piece of black metal that's been hammered by hand. The cleaver isn't magic, but the box is a box of mending.

Orias goes to turn off the stove, and finds it already off. Illythan sees that the oven itself is a magical device. It's a mixture of continual flame and unseen servant. We decide to go back into the orgy room and close the kitchen door behind us. Kyle opens another door and lots of vials of oil, marital aides, and bdsm gear. Orias checks each and every one for magic. Eorin sits calmly and meditates. Orias checks the big double doors for traps. It's not trapped, but it is locked. Eorin puts the supply closet back in order while Orias picks the lock. The door opens into a main entry hall. But there's dirt outside the windows, as though the mansion has been sunk or buried. The interior is very impressive and well maintained, however. There's a double staircase and a portrait of a gentleman with a nicely trimmed beard. He's tall and gaunt and looks very much like a nobleman, with a tattoo of three eyes on his ankle. It's the River King. Below the painting is the man himself with six men with bows. The River King is standing in the same pose as the painting. Orias shoots at him, and the River King catches the bolt in his fingers.

COMBAT! The bad guys' arrows put people to sleep. D: Illythan blasts them with a fireball which kills four of them, but the building starts to creak and shake. Stuff starts to fall from the ceiling, killing the remaining two archers. Orias and Kyle wake up, and we discovered the River King is gone. There are now cries of pain from the room we just left. There is a mass pile of mostly corpses. There a few people crushed under large pieces of debris. Despite Eorin, Kyle, and Zelara's best efforts, those who survived the initial falling debris do not survive their wounds. Orias throws a dagger to the ground in rage and searches the main room for where the River King might have gone. Illythan stays to help him. Illythan figures out that the painting is an illusion creating device, so the River King was never there. Orias fiddles with the door handle and there's a trap. There's a painting under the painting, with a painting on the back, and another painting, and another, and another…..

Eorin consecrates the ground as Kyle and Zelara help move the debris and bodies into neat rows so they can be identified later. Orias and Illythan loot the bodies of the bad guys. Eorin determines that the ceiling would not have collapsed if Illythan hadn't maximized his fireball, though it would have eventually due to the pressure from the sinking building. Eorin also determines that each of the people who had been turned to stone had some sort of incurable fatal illness (Lycanthropy, mummy rot, etc.). He deduces that they may have been turned to stone to preserve them until a cure could be found.

We go through one door at the top of the stairs and find what was once a woman's room. We hear someone calling from help within a side room, the door of which had been blocked by a heavy piece of furniture that had fallen over. Her name is Udarrin. She appears to be of Azlanti descent and is young, but older than the party. She looks terrified. She is wearing fancy cloths and jewelry. Eorin treats the cut on her head and speaks to her in a soothing tone of voice to calm her done. She's the moll of the River King. She had been in the bathroom when the house shook and she found herself trapped. She tells us that the River King is gone to a meeting, and that he's sometimes gone for weeks. She doesn't know where he usually goes for meetings because he never takes her with. Orias figures out that she's hiding something and threatens her. Udarrin hides behind Kyle and Eorin. Kyle attempts to mollify her, and she asks us to promise not to kill her if she tells us.

We all promise, and the glamour disappears. She's a medusa. She isn't evil. She tells Orias that the River King has four different routes in and out of the building, and she only knows how to activate one of them. She then tells Eorin that the petrified people were those who had gone out to find rare antiquities for the River King's right hand man and had gotten sick along the way. The statues were his way of keeping them immortal, though thoughts toward a cure were not considered. Those petrified were there willingly. She offers Illythan a vial that will remove the aboleth mucus from his system so he can breathe air again.

Udarrin shows us the various exists form the mansion. She doesn't know anything about the cleaver. There's a halfling fellow who stays with her though, and he's probably around somewhere. He's usually cooking in the kitchen, though we didn't see him there. Zelara and Kyle move debris out of the way of the other upstairs doorway. We learn that the River King is an aboleth, and he gets there are teleportation circles in the library and the parlor, with aboleth mucus and water as the activation ingredients.

The rest of the party goes and investigates the rest of the house while Eorin reads books about the experiments the aboleths did on the Azlanti to make humans better. Also on the process of making gillmen.

The rest of the party almost sets off an explosion mucking about and finds a bag made to contain evil shit like aberrations inside a drawer. The bag whispers to Orias to open it. He vehemently refuses. Kyle reaches towards the bag and feels it super radiating heat. Orias notices that it doesn't get warm for him. It keeps trying to tempt Orias to open it by saying it can help him get revenge or save his mother. The party leaves the room and goes back to the library, running into Eorin who is heading for the parlor. The voices then try to get Eorin to come to the parlor to open the bag by telling him there's a way to save all the petrified people. Kyle has to bodily restrain Eorin. They then all go through the teleportation circle.

They end up in a room with vats full of Azlanti, sleeping. Eorin recognizes them as preservation chambers. There's a small human sleeping there, who, upon waking, tells us that they are the aboleth's souvenirs. The then explains that aboleths have racial memory (they remember the memories of their parents and grand parents, etc). He helps us use the teleportation circle to send us back to the house.

The voices start up again for both Orias and Eorin. Eorin begs to be allowed to go into the parlor to retrieve the books. The party begins to think that's a good idea, since the teleportation circle int he parlor will lead them to the River King. Then the human accountant tells them that might be a bad idea since the River King has those circles ready so he can have men ready to shoot anyone that comes through the circle uninvited. They go back to the parlor and Eorin retrieves books on curing disease, reversing petrification, and scrolls of raise dead. The goes to put them in his haversack and sees a bag there. He pulls out the bag in confusion and the rope holding it closed attaches around Eorin's wrist. The voices are now audible to everyone. They say "The deal has been made." Everyone tries to figure out how to get the bag off Eorin's wrist and come up with nothing.

So we decide to deal with it later and step on the teleportation circle. On the other side is a cistern. There are about ten thugs with bows of varying degrees of fanciness and awesome pointing at the circle. There's a man in a chair that's slightly into the water. He does look like the most dapper merchant we have ever seen. We are slightly in the water, and there are jars on shelves that could be easily pushed into the water. Some of the archers are about to kick over the shelves when the River King tells them to stop, because he sees the bag on Eorin's wrist.

GM Guest Post (edited by Eorin)

After dealing with Orias' bird problem, the party got word from one of their kobold helpers, that the only known entrance to the River kings lair was in the sewers.  Kyle went about gathering information about the cities sewers, and this is what she learned:

1. just about everyone in the city had running water and proper toilets.

2. no one official was incharge of these, what did you call them? sewers?

The kobold was further questioned on how he got his information, and explained he spied on some local thieves.  Orias and Zelara decided they would try their luck at spying on said thieves.   Having found them in a tavern in bad part of town, our two adventurers nonchalantly followed the theives until the went to "the bathroom".  After some distractions and quick lock-picking, Orias got into the same bathroom to find not a toilet, but a small tunnel and ladder leading down into the sewers.  While Orias explored down below, Zelara needed to distract the barkeep to make sure she could follow her ally. This is when we learned that Zelara would make a decent theif or assassin, or possibly a bad-ass vigilante.

Our sneaky heroes found an alternate entrance/exit to the sewer, Orias checked for traps praying there were none. His prayer was answered.  After making it outside to the river, they fund a ladder going up back to town, and a staircase going down into the river.  Zelara checked the stairs to see where they went, finding they lead to the bottom of the river. She spotted to people swimming underwater towards the stairs, but they had not spotted her.  Zelara quickly got back up, and she and Orias climbed the ladder back into the city, made sure to mark where it was hidden, and went to find the rest of the party.

Our heroes, now having a way into this crime lords den, debated if it was better to go immediately or wait until day when thieves where less likely to be working.  Not having an actual schedule of the activities going on in the sewers, they decide to go immediatly.  I'm assuming they left the kobolds with Eorin.

They went back to the sewer entrance by the riverside, Orias, sneaking ahead, found that there where two gillmen (knowledge local: race of humanoids that breathe water, somewhat handsome, but gills!) they seemed to be cleaning out a filter of anything valuable, they spoke to each other in Aklo in hushed towns (linguistics: they speak in a manner of someone who was raised speaking a language, rather then in the dramatic tones of a cultist or mage who speaks in a strange language to sound more impressive.) Ilythan is sadly not as stealthy as the rest of the party, and is spotted by the gillmen, they seem to only know the words "go away" in common.  Orias kills one of the gillmen with a well aimed crossbow bolt, and does a non-lethal shot to the other.  The dead gillman's body falls into the filtration device, which is re-veiled to be a series of gelatinous cubes.   After some moral debate on what to do with the non-murdered gillman, he is left outside the sewer, and our party of murderhobos starts to explore the sewers.

The sewer are clean, too clean.  The design resembles that of the ancient azlanti style.  Kyle stares at it all mind boggled, attempting to figure out how the whole thing works, when dire rats attack!

Illythan launches a fireball to deal with the problem, amazed that one survives. Kyle shot some arrows into the last one, the first arrow seeming to fell the beast, the 2nd seemed to turn it into a human.  Worried that she had murdered an innocent Kyle quickly treated the naked, formerly a rat, man to find he was mostly feral and rabid. Zelara did a mercy killing.  Illythan and Orias  proceeded to dump the body into the sewer water. Then Kyle was shot by a hidden archer, with an arrow that stung more then it should have.  Zelara spotted a bugbear and pointed it out. Illythan, being ever quick on his feet, shot a ball of lightning in the general area of where the arrow came from. The bugbear seemed unharmed but the lights from the spell made the would be sniper more easily seen, allowing Kyle to return fire and kill him.  They searched the body, took its loot, and proceeded to explore, finding the bugbear's nest, which, like the rest of the sewer, was too clean.  Apparently the bugbear had dug out of the sewer into the towns graveyard where he could collect bramble to make bramble-sick brandy.

Our party then proceeded down a ladder into the lower sewers to find where the water was purified and three more tunnels which only had a slight trickle, at the end of each of these tunnels was a series of valves, levers, and pipes, each set very similar to the other. After experimenting they found a valve which released more water, but this water was murky, like there was something in it (but not like poo water). The more water that was added to the center purification chamber, made a hidden doorway rise out of the center of the room, so the party turned all the water valves on, flooding the chambed and finding the secret door which lead to a teleportation circle which activated only what it was fully submerged under water.  The gang went underwater swimming through the odd mucus that made the water cloudy, and went through the circle.

They where transported to a flooded basement, the water reach to just below (Zelara's) shoulder height, there was a staircase leading up. But before the party could proceed, Illythan found that air had become impossible to breathe.  Orias realised that the mucus in the water must have been aboleth mucus, which allows people to breathe water, but not air.  He jury rigged his water skin into a breathing mask so he could follow the party into the mansion.

The mansion was of grand design, and Zelara determined it was still underground.  There where statues of armored  guards and things where gold plated.  The 2nd chambed was similar except the statues along the wall where locked into an eternal orgy, Orias was, in his usual jovial manner, pretendng to be part of it and realised these statues were all really well made.

Rollin' on the River

Everyone sits in shock at the gods' departure. They detect magic on the burning handprint in the table. The residual magical auras are off the charts. Kyle detects evil and none of the aura's are evil. Eorin looks at the aura's of the rest of the party, and there is a noticeable difference in the intensity of their auras (aka it's noticeable with detect magic now). And each person's aura reflects the touch of their particular deity.

Eorin brings up the point that it's very strange for a deity to come speak to mortals themselves. They usually send heralds or their avatar since the gods aren't allowed to directly interfere with mortal matters. So he believes we met with the avatars of the deities, rather than the deities themselves. Which is still really bizarre, but less so than if they had been the gods themselves.

We decide to sleep on it, and go after the River King anyway for Orias, and then see if we believe this ingredients business. The ingredient the River King has in his possession is the really creepy statue according to the bar napkin drawing.

Then everyone else gangs up on Eorin and informs him we have to go look in the ear hole first.

We wake up at about 11ish the next day and eat brunch. We head to the outcropping of rocks that looks like a half submerged head. Eorin is reluctant to go exploring the statue since we have such a great task set before us. His objections are overruled. Kyle climbs up the head. It's a little slippery, but she makes it up alright. Zelara follows soon after with similar success. Orias helps the other two search the head for secret doors after finding no obvious entrance. They convince Eorin to climb the head so we can take a picture of everyone on the top. Illythan uses mage hand to click the camera button. The pictures are all terrible, since magehand can't look through the viewfinder. Orias decides to cast mirror image and have that be in the picture instead of him so he can take the picture. 

Kyle notices goblins in the distance looking at us through a spy glass and waving at us with a torch. Kyle looks around to see if there's anyone else they could be signaling. Kyle sees some weird looking gobliny thingies coming out of the river. They look like goblins with tentacles (aka grindylos).

COMBAT ENSUES! We murder the shit out of the grindylos (aka Illythan electrocuted them all).

We notice the goblins are still waving at us. Orias takes out his spyglass to see them better and we think they're trying to tell us to get off the rocks. Orias and Illythan use feather fall. The rest climb down carefully. Illythan notices the river is bubbling and steaming. A dragon head appears attached to a large serpentine neck taller than a galleon's main mast. Eorin realizes it's a Linnorm and recommends a strategic retreat. And we run away. 

It starts following us down the river, and Kyle stops and turns towards it. It stops, looks at her, and says something none of us understands. Eorin casts tongues on Kyle. (Orias and Illythan are long gone) Zelara stays behind with Eorin and Kyle.

He wants to know why we were running and if we brought the horrible things with us. Kyle explains that we were just investigating the rock outcropping to see if there was a tomb underneath as legend says. The Linnorm tells us there is no tomb, and sniffs each of us. He asks what we were doing in his territory. Kyle continues to have a conversation with the Linnorm that none of the rest of us can understand. Eventually, it goes back under the water and speeds away. Kyle turns back to the rest of us and tells us we need to return to the town immediately.

Kyle informs us that she asked the LInnorm if there were any other dungeons since there wasn't one under the rocks. And it told her to meet it in town. And we should get back there, now!

Meanwhile, Illythan and Orias have arrived safely back in town when the Linnorm's head pops up out of the water. The Linnorm begins to emerge from the water towards Illythan and Orias. The town is afraid, but realizes it's after Illythan, so they try to stay as still and non-threatening as possible.

Illythan tries to speak to it in aqua, and it huffed at him then paused as if to say "hold on a sec" and turned to look at Orias. It beacons them forwards. Illythan reads a scroll of comprehend languages and gestures that he can understand the Linnorm now. The Linnorm instructs them to wait for the other minions. Illythan attempts to catch fish for it.

Kyle, Eorin, and Zelara run into town full tilt. Kyle cries out "DON'T WORRY! EVERYTHING IS FINE! EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL!"

The Linnorm tells us where to meet our fellow minions in the mountains. Our job, because it's busy, is to get rid of the other person in his territory trying to claim it as his own. Kyle asks if he means the River King. The Linnorm confirms this, and instructs us to go and meet the other minions in the mountains. He picks off a scale so the other minions will be able to identify us. It's about the size of a shield. The other minions will have one as well.

He tells us not to let him keep us, and we head off towards the mountains in Illythan's boat. We travel along the river when we see a kobold with an eyepatch waving a scale at us. They prepare a net to stop our boat, since they have a secret passage they need us to go through. It seems to be made up entirely out of river boats that have been wrecked over the years. They have built a model of Isger in a sand box. It is very carefully tended to. Since we're officially minions, they want us to go through the right of passage. It involves drinking and a bath. We're taken further into the caves and we see a skeleton of a dragon with a pool of blood that bubbles. Apparently, we're supposed to bathe in it. Zelara and Kyle go first, and Eorin turns around to give them privacy.  Illythan goes next, having gotten naked the second he heard the word "ritual." Orias is next, then Eorin. We are each given an object to dry off with. Kyle gets a tigerskin. Zelara gets a wolfskin. Illythan gets an eagle. Orias gets a stick with spider webs wrapped around it. And Eorin gets a scroll written in draconic. W'ere then handed a loincloth to wear and told to sit around the fire. The kobolds are throwing herbs and incense into the fire. They hand each of us a beverage poured inside a half a geode. There are three kobolds going through the ritual as well. Eorin is averting his eyes as best he can from Zelara and Kyle who are both topless. We are instructed to drink the beverage, which appears to be dragon's blood. Nothing weird appears to happen in the aftermath, except one kobold who is now as tall as us. The kobolds explain that the ritual will grant us darkvision 60 and the ability to breathe under water for one week.

One of these kobold's job is to get us closer to where we're supposed to go. He takes us to his boat, and it's a bit cramped. We're allowed to put our real cloths back on, but are told to bring our drying items with us. We travel through an underground river. By the end of this crazy nightmarish journey, we end up near Dustpawn. We climb aboard Illythan's boat and continue on down the river. We decide watch shifts and pass the night on the boat. Zelara takes first watch, and notices a bunch of goblin corpses floating down the river. Some of them have nicer stuff on them. Zelara decides to try and fish out a hobgoblin body, but it's a bit too heavy. She tries again and manages to fish one out. She finds a very interesting hat, a dogslicer, and a knife and sheath. She strips him and then tosses him and the dogslicer back into the water. Zelara inspects the knife - it glows in a salmon color. There are bright pink glowing letters on it in crudely written common that say "KNIF O DOOME." Chubby Baby goes to fetch Kyle to take next watch. Kyle sees a tentacle coming out of the river. It's very evil. She tells Chubby Baby to sound the alarm. Chubby Baby proceeds to let out a woof that is capable of waking surly orcs and is laced with a threat of "i will eat your face if you don't wake up."

Kyle shoots it with an arrow, and the rest of us run up the stairs in a bleary sleepy confusion. Illythan tossed a bunch of lightning at it, but it was mostly able to dodge. Suddenly, everyone except for Kyle and Illythan becomes fascinated by twisting patterns of color in the air. The tentacle recedes under the water. Kyle and Illythan shake the rest of us out of our fascination and wait around for the monster to return, which it does not. Zelara thinks it was an Aboleth. Eorin goes back to sleep. The others not on watch soon follow.

Morning comes. We've reached a fork in the river. We decide to continue heading north rather than stop in a town. It's approaching evening by the time we reach Elidir. We dock the ship and get the caravan back on land. We decide to have a pow-wow with the kobolds in the caravan about what we're going to do. They explain its there job to find out where the River King's lair is, but they're going to do it at night. Kyle gives them a lecture about morals and appropriate behavior in town. We get rooms at the inn. The next day we wake up, the birds are sining. Orias can make out the words. It's not really singing, so much as the language has a singsongy quality to it. Orias tries to sing back to the birds but they all fly away. Except a crow, which comes into Orias' room and asks where the shiny is. They have a brief conversation aka mugging. Orias notices the crow has a pouch. It sasses him when Orias asks him why he has it. They continue arguing, and another, more obedient crow flies into the room and becomes Orias' familiar.

Drinking with Deities

We're on the road again! Eorin decides to read the book that Zelara got from the Whispering Tyrant via comprehend languages and teaches himself Aklo while he's at it. Good news! I'm not bleeding from the eyes! It speaks of the stars, those really brightly colored stars that might be other worlds. It explains that these worlds exist and the furthest one is where gods fear to go. It then explains about the old cults, which is like, worship of the old ones with more tentacles than teeth (and they have thousands and thousands of teeth). It also speaks of how there are no doorways to this world, but there are vessels who can come back and forth. It's unclear precisely what "vessel" means, and we're hoping it doesn't mean hurling consciousnesses through the dark. After this whole chapter about where the old ones came from, it talks about how they spread out over this watery world - which is where the aboleths came from. There's a picture of the aboleths and what they say is an old one. It looks humanoid, but there are no features to it. They're very crude pictures. It then goes on about how great the world was before the gods. It then goes on about gods coming and creation of the lesser races. And then it brings up the great experiment: can we make these land dwelling creatures better? And of all the creatures they chose, they chose a word that roughly translates to human or cattle, it's unclear. And decided to use this as their test race because it most looked like the old one.

We reach the town of Haugin's Ear in Isgur. It's a small fishing town with a giant outcropping of rock that makes it look like a head is sticking out of the ground. The protruding portion stands 30ft tall and it's ear is visible from the river and used as a landmark for traders. There's a rumor that you can go inside the head, but no one has ever tried it. Their other main export is a particular breed of fennec fox which are considered good luck charms and make fantastic coats which sell well in Molthune and Absalom. The guys who are running the boat we're on seem a little nervous, pale, and sickly. It seems a bit more than the usual fear of being turned into slaves or killed by goblins. There are rumors of something worse than the goblinoids returning, and by rumors we mean it's actually happened. There's been rumor of not just undead, but of a specific cult of Urgathoa, the pallid princess, goddess of disease, gluttony, and undeath.

Anyway, the town is not that impressive. There's a tourist district for the ear, and by district we mean a single stall with information on statue. We go find an inn called "The Queen's Ear." Most of the rooms are taken, but they do let us park our caravan outside. Zelara challenges someone to a friendly game of high card. She wins 5 gold. They ask us if we want a room for the night or if we're going to stay in our caravan because they're getting ready to bolt their doors for the night, because all sorts of crap comes from the woods. We decide to stay in the caravan. They let us know breakfast will be an hour after first light. It's the 31st of Kuthona, also known as the Night of the Pale. It's the night of morbid revelry as they wait for the past year's dead to go by their doors. The Firebrids send us sweaters with the Firebird logo on it to help us get through the night. Eorin's is too big so he can grow into it. Zelara checks and reassures herself that Eorin is still shorter than her, though he's slowly closing the gap. Illythan jokingly suggests they make coca, but Eorin takes him seriously and actually does so. Orias orders cookies from the Academy. What he gets is a chef from the Firebirds popping out of the Imp. He has an assortment tray. Orias pays for the cookies, and the chef goes back into the Imp. We're sitting warm by the fire, and a giant blue lady goes past the window. Eorin recognizes her as a daughter of Urgathoa. Daughters of Urgathoa remain social beings who surround themselves with fanatical cults. They are chosen by Urgathoa from among her priestesses at the moment of their death. Eorin also knows that it's about as powerful as we are. It's floating around knocking on people's doors. There are also little goblins dressed as butlers holding a single large bag. One of the doors she knocks on opens and a child is being forced out. The goblins are trying bag the child, who is in a trance like state. Eorin recalls that there's a local story about a child going missing every year (not necessarily on this night), but no one knows why or where they go. The goblins are sining the child kidnapping song.

We realize that we are the Scooby Gang. Eorin is Velma, Orias is Daphne, Zelara is Freddy, and Illythan is Shaggy. Chubby Baby is Scooby, and Kyle is Scrappy-do. So we decide to go and stop the kidnapping.

The fight was very short as Zelara took the Daughter's head off and completely disintegrated her within 8 seconds (121 damage!). The goblins leave the child and are booking it in traditional comedic goblin fashion. They all accidentally kill themselves but one which gets stuck in a pipe. We also find a bottle on the ground. The girl comes out of her trance and starts screaming. Lights turn back on and people start looking out the window. Kyle tries to calm her, but she doesn't quiet until her parents come out. Illythan looks at the bottle to find that it's full of broken glass - but it's weird because the shards are larger than the bottleneck opening. There's a special cork in the bottle with a lock. We cut the bit of the drain off that the goblin is stuck in, and compensate the person whose house that is for the damage to their pipe. Eorin casts Tongues on Kyle, and she interrogates the goblin. It does not go well. Zelara realizes it's been subject to mind control, so it probably doesn't remember anything useful. The villagers kill it with a stick. We go back inside and make more coca.

As midnight approaches, Zelara's eyes begin to glow. There's a procession of ghosts going through the town. They've been stopping at everyone's door, and are approaching our caravan. One comes in through the walls and goes through Kyle, heading for Eorin. It kneels, prays, and leaves. This happens with all the ghosts. Eorin realizes they're all people that have died naturally, and are coming up to Eorin to show that they are going back (since he's a priest of Pharasma). Eorin goes outside so they don't have to keep coming into the caravan. They then all pray to him en-masse. A jewelry box is left on the steps of the caravan. It looks like the sort of box an engagement ring would be in. Eorin goes back inside, and Kyle opens the good wine and begins to pour it for everyone. There are ten glasses on the table, and Kyle doesn't know how they got there. As Kyle pours the 6th glass, we start to see a man appear. Eorin and Kyle recognize him as Cayden Cailen. He says that he was the one who set the table. Cayden Cailen says that we each have to pour an extra glass. Eorin pours the next glass and Pharasma appears, she keeps a funeral shroud over her face. Illythan pours the next one, and half of Nethys appears. The other half decides to show up as well. The good half is holding the beverage. Each time a glass is poured, the glass changes to reflect the god the wine is being poured for and the drinks change as well. (Cayden Cailen's turns into beer in a stein, Pharasma's turns into water in a simple cup, etc.) Orias pours the next glass, though for some reason he puts his thumb over the opening and shakes it before pouring it into a martini glass for Calistria. Zelara is about to pour when Cayden stops her, telling her that she should wait for a bit.

Cayden Cailen asks us if we've been having fun. Orias offers them cookies. There's a knock at the door. There's a man at the door with a widows peak and streak of grey in his hair. He looks middle aged, but is handsome. Eorin recognizes that he is of Azlanti decent: moreso than anyone currently alive. Kyle asks for his name, but he says he prefers not to give it anymore. He sits in the last spot, and Cayden gestures for Zelara to pour the last glass. Cayden says that they're here so we can each ask them a single question. He also tells Kyle that the drinking thing is that a lot of people join the church thinking it's a big drinking party, and wants to make sure that's not the only thing Kyle does. But it's New Years! So drink it up! And hands Kyle a stein.

Kyle turns to Eorin and is like "Why are five gods in our house?"

Illythan: "Four"

Kyle: "Four, and that guy?"

Anyway, we each get one question per guest. So five questions each, basically. 

Kyle asks Pharasma: Why did you let what happen to Eorin here, happen.

Pharasma: Her domain is the dead, and can't control the actions of mortals, because that would go against life.

Kyle asks Cayden Cailen: Why are you guys here?

Cayden Cailen: There's some stuff happening, really big amazing stuff. And all sorts of things are tying into this from 20 years ago, and you need a little bit of advice, and that's the only way we can do it. (Illythan remembers that something awoke 20 years ago, and it was bad)

Nethys mentions that the sanctuary where the Old One was imprisoned: his guardian escaped. And because of that, the Old One found a way out. His prison, was connected to Rovagug's prison. And the only way to seal that is with materials that cannot even be gathered here.

Kyle asks Nethys: where can we gather the materials?

Nethys: There are five ingredients. You will need to find the Old One's vessels to gather the 5th ingredient. Tar Baphon hides the 4th ingredient deep inside his prison. The 3rd is hidden in Numeria. The 2nd is within the possession of the River King. The 1st is in the World Wound.

Illythan remembers that the World Wound connects to the Abyss. The Abyss also connects to Galerion's moon.

Zelara asks Cayen Cailen: How is the Army of Exploration involved?

Cayden Cailen: It's the absolute worst! The problem with the Old One is that he's everywhere! He's at every point in time, and he's a little bit different at every point. And the Army is connected with him in a bad way. 

Orias asks Cayden Cailen: How are they connected?

Cayden Cailen: one of them saw him long ago, and they had this horrible revalation about him and went crazy, and now he's trying to rebuild the world.

Eorin says it seems more like they're trying to destroy the world not rebuild it. And Cayden Cailen points out that they're trying to make new creatures.

Eorin asks Cayden Cailen how we would recognize the ingredients.

Cayden Cailen: I'll draw you a picture. Hand me a napkin.

(1. A big old book with a thing in the middle, 2. a horrible creepy statue, 3. it's an odd shape but we can't figure out what it depicts, 4. it's amber with a bee in it, 5. he couldn't draw it because he doesn't want us to go insane)

Illythan asks Cayden Cailen how we find the vessel.

Cayden Cailen: We can ask the Old One since he's used the vessel in the past, or we can use the one in Numeria, there are several vessels. The Elves have many hidden doorways in their lands. We can try and look in Absalom if you find the right ship. Or you can try to find the Thassilonians or the Azlanti. Remember that little blue bug? You sold it to the lady in Korvosa? That could have been a vessel.

Eorin remembers reading about a giant bug ship that died. It laid eggs everywhere.

Zelara asks Nethys: if it is within his power, could he grant her the ability to read the books and not go insane.

Nethys: Not all the books drive you insane, and we have the power to learn the language ourselves. You can ask us questions, not favors.

Orias asks Nethys if there aren't any other people the gods could appear to about this.

Nethys: You are all connected to the five ingredients. Zalara and her connection to Tar Baphon, Orias and his connection to the River King, *looks at Kyle* your vow, Illythan and how he will help you in Numeria, *looks at Eorin* you are just an unfortunate casualty in all of this. The real reason you're here is the rest of them aren't as educated as you.

Kyle asks Calistria: WHAT VOW?

Calistria: Oh I don't deal with that dear, you should have asked the Lady of Graves.

Nethys: 22 years ago, when the Old One escaped and his guardian burst out of his bonds, it killed quite a few people. And Pharasma chose that since this person had made a very important vow, they would be given a second chase. So you were born again. You vowed to see the world, but I will warn you, it will get much worse from here. There are many words.

Illythan asks Nethys why he will be useful in Numeria.

Nethys: Numeria, unlike what many think, is not a land bereft of magic. Most of it is powered by science. And to even be able to enter Numeria you will need the one thing that pumps through your veins. Not just any magic, the magic of the air elementals. Lightning, the sky fire, electricity.

Cayden Cailen realizes that he's been asked a question by everyone and goes to pass out (in Eorin's bed).

Eorin asks Nethys if the spell to purge his blood of undeath will work.

Nethys: Work? or work in your favor? Due to how the actual spell works, there are one of three outcomes. It purges you of all the necrotic energies in your body and your human side, all necrotic energies and your elven side, or the necrotic energies take back what they gave you. You had a twin, both of you were dying, but the remaining life was given to the stronger. It was not an act of evil magic, it was one giving its life so the other could live before both of you were born.

Nethys pushes on the table to stand, and then disappears. There's a burnt handprint on the table from his crackling energy half.

Orias asks Calistria: what has happened to my mother, and is she involved in all this?

Calistria: Well the River King's minion has her. And to explain why, well, long ago a certain god disappeared and divination magic stopped working except for a few individuals *poignant look* like your mother. And look at the bright side, at least she doesn't do it like the trolls of Kaer Maga! They cut themselves open and read their own innards!

Zelara asks Calistria: What's she's heard over the years about the Whispering Way?

Calistria: Oh no! Even we don't hear about that. There's a reason we specialize dear. It's called the Whispering Way for a reason. One of its members is highly interested in you. I choose not to say his name due to certain guests here. Cheers!

Kyle asks Calistria: Where is the Army of Exploration?

Calistria: Why would you want to know that? They're everywhere! They're using the Darklands as their own personal transit routes. They've made vessels that are very fast, so they don't even have a base.

Illythan asks Calistria: How far along has my brother gotten in his venture?

Calistria: *laughs and opens her purse and pulls out some paperwork, there's a graph of everyone's progress. Illythan is in last place* I will tell you this bit for free, don't feel bad if you loose. He misses you.

Illythan: My brother?

Calistria: In a sense. Your father told him about you.

Eorin asks Calistira: is there any other deception pointed my way from the Church of Pharasma.

Calistria: Depends on what you do. If you stay hidden as you are, no. If you try to change things in your church, yes. But there is none right now in your Church.

Cayden Cailen gets out of the bed. "I just remembered I promised to have a drink with Gorum!" He opens the door and we see a iron suit of armor with spikes. Caiden Cailen leaves with Gorum.

Illythan asks the Azlanti: Can you lead us to one of the vessels?

Azlanti dude: No, you have to find them on your own.

Illythan: No, like a general area or location. Not lead us there directly.

Azlanti dude: Ah. *He pulls out a map of Varisia and marks Riddleport, marks the docks in Absalom though says that one's iffy, then pulls out the big map and points to what used to be Azlanti*

Orias asks the Azlanti: Where is this minion of the River King that we're looking for.

Azlanti dude: He is currently in the River King's lair *marks it on the map for us*

Orias asks Pharasma: Will Eorin turn undead when he dies?

A: Maybe. It depends on actions he has yet to choose. It depends on the cause and time of the death. If he dies of natural causes he will pass on. But if he dies in the heat of battle with his friends in peril, he will come back.

Kyle: But not evilly?

Pharasma: no.

Illythan asks Pharasma: If he stays in your favor, will he still turn undead when he dies?

Pharasma: *looks confused* If he became undead, and then passed, he would still be welcome.

Eorin asks Pharasma: Will you still answer my prayers and consider me one of your clerics regardless of my choice in the matter of my blood?

Pharasma: Look at all the prayers that you have asked before and know that I have been there, even when you didn't know of your heritage. You have done far more than most priests that are still alive.

Orias: yea, because they're douche bags.

Kyle: Fuck those priests.

Kyle asks the Azlanti: How are you involved?

Azlanti dude: Long ago he fought Tar Baphon.

Zelara asks the Azlanti: The best way to deal with Tar Baphon.

Azlanti dude: The best way to deal with him is knowing that he is interested in two of you. You *points to Zelara* and you *points to Eorin*. Though if you alter your blood before then, he won't have any interest in you any longer. The real issue will be trying to get past all the Paladins and Clerics.

Eorin asks the Azlanti if Tar Baphon will help us get the ingredient.

Azlanti dude: He will in exchange for one thing and one thing only. He will in exchange for freedom. And he's the only one who knows how to work one of the vessels.

Zelara asks Pharasma: Is Aroden really dead?

Pharasma: *looks at the Azlanti, and looks back at Zelara*

CSI Korvosa!

The trial is thrown out, and the lawyer tells us that he wants to meet with us once our personal business is taken care of. Eorin figures out the body of Orias’ sister has been preserved with magic for a long time. Orias tells us that all he knew was that she died at an accident at the Academy several years ago. Eorin gives Davor a vial of his blood to experiment on how to remove the undead-ness from him. This leaves Eorin a touch woozy.

Orias’ sister, Celeste, had originally specialized in abjuration magic but had found, that she had a talent for illusion. So she decided to go that route, but then due to an accident with wards not being prepared during evocation class died from a rogue chain lightning spell. They repaired the body and put the body on ice to find her family. But she apparently had no next of kin, so her body went into storage. She has a different last name on the forms that she filled out than Orias, so she was using a false last name.  Which is highly confusing considering that Orias was told about her death by their mother six years ago. The school says that they never notified anyone, so how Orias’ mother was notified is a mystery.

They point us to Professor Ardoph regarding questions of body theft, because his job on campus is to procure or deal with anything slightly less than legal. He has a nasty scar on his head, and it looks like he stitched the wound back together himself. He’s got a floppy mohawk. He finds records of Celeste’s body being taken in the “necrophilia” pile, and he has kept meticulous records. The man took the body two years ago, and was a first time customer. Ardoph didn’t get the necrophiliac vibe from this guy even though that was the supposed reason he wanted the corpse. He was a tall, lanky guy with a peg leg on his right leg and was a sea captain. He was so stereotypically a sea captain that Ardoph almost didn’t believe it.  The name the man gave was “Captain Oglaf” but it’s probably fake. He paid in cash, like all customers.

There are only two professors still around from when Celeste was a student, the Necromany professor and the Universalist professor. We decide to go and visit them to ask if either of them knew anything. We visit the Universalist professor, Jack Delaphore, first. He’s busy teaching a cantrips class. We wait for him to finish and then go up to greet him. When we tell him we’re there with Celeste brother to ask about her, Professor Delaphore says that he will speak to Orias alone. So the rest of us leave the room so they can speak privately.

Delaphore tells Orias that it was unusual for a body to be kept on ice for that long. They usually wait a week and then use “Speak with Dead” to determine what the body wishes to be done with it. However, the necromancy professor was out of town at the time, and he is the one who usually deals with such things. But she was kept on ice even after his return, and Delaphore doesn’t know why. However, Mister Normandy, the head of security, has something of Celeste’s in his possession that Orias is entitled to as her next of kin.

We find the armory, and go inside. An arrow flies into the door right next to Orias’ head. That particular spot has clearly been shot many, many times. Mister Normandy is a tiefling with bluish-grey skin, short military cut hair, and a mean looking composite longbow. Orias explains that he’s here for something Celeste left behind. Mister Normandy goes into a back room and returns with a ring of keys which he uses to open a locker. It contains a book, an old school uniform, and a wand. He explains these are her belongings and hands them to Orias.

We then go see Professor Phyxious. He is directing a student production – he apparently also teaching theater. He said that he was never informed of her death, and he’s told whenever any body is put in cold storage. He agrees to take us to see the cold storage. Cold storage is vast, underground, freezing, and automated. That’s the polite term for run by undead. The vast majority of the undead that run cold storage were created before Prof. Phyxious arrived. “In the bad old days any student that failed ended up here.” “Failed a class or failed out of the school?” “I was never clear.” There are parkas at the entrance for visitors. There’s a cell door with wards, chains, and other protections across it that Kyle insists on looking through the window of even though Phyxious tells us we really don’t want to know what’s behind it. Kyle takes 2 wisdom damage. And we move on.

Professor Phyxious explains that the healing staff usually brings the recently dead here, and they are given necklaces that put them under the gentle repose effect. No body is meant to be here for longer than a week. He says that someone must have gone to a great deal of difficulty to hide Celeste’s body from him. Ardoph was taking a nap in cold storage. We come to conclusion that Celeste’s body was hidden from everyone for four years, and yet was conveniently visible and just lying around when Captain Oglaf came looking for “the kind of girl that doesn’t talk, ever.” It is likely that the body was kept in the school grounds for the time it was missing, because it is extremely difficult to sneak things out of the school. Captain Oglaf had been sought out by Ardoph, because he was selling items a professor was in need of, and Oglaf had asked for a body in exchange and picked Celeste out of the bodies available in cold storage at the time. The items Ardoph as in search of were not ones the school needed frequently and they came from the Darklands and were relatively rare.

We went to the Hellknights and asked if they were able to get anything out of the ghoul, but they were unsuccessful. The ghould speaks Osiriani, which none of the Hellknights do. They offer Eorin the opportunity to interrogate it because Eorin knows how to hurt undead effectively. The Academy won’t have a scroll of tongues available until the next day, so we decide to wait to interrogate the ghoul and go to the docks in the meantime.

At the docks, we look for information on Captain Oglaf. Captain Oglaf used to come around a lot, but hasn’t been seen in two years. No one bothered him though because he was under the protection of the River King, a Chelaxian crime lord that controlled the trade rivers and trade routes. No one has ever seen him (the River King). One thing they did remember is Captain Oglaf had a weird tattoo of red eyes (not sure how many, but definitely more than one) on his ankle. The ship was named “The Lola.” He also used gold measures, which are from Absalom, but that sort of currency is used everywhere because Absalom is the center of trade in this region.  While we’re at the docks, Illythan goes off on his own to buy a warehouse and some dock space. Illythan is offered a deal on a warehouse if we go clear it out because people are clearly squatting there.

Eorin recognizes the smell of corpses left out and not dealt with wafting from the warehouse.  Turns out Eorin was right! The warehouse is full of corpses, and fungus, and a perfectly good ship! Once you clear the moss off and clean it up…… we realize this ship is “The Lola.” The fungus is a rare and deadly kind that only grows in the Darklands and is used by people that don’t want undead cropping up because it rots corpses quickly and thoroughly.  If consumed or breathed in, it will cause us to blind and insane. The spores spread easily, so we’ll need to take special showers to get it off of us. Special poisons have to be used against it to kill it. Eorin opens his special umbrella, and it shields him from the spores. We decide to send two people in to investigate the boat, then everyone will clean and alert the dock authority to take care of the rest of the problem. Zelara and Eorin decide to be the investigation team while everyone else goes to wash and get the dock authority.

The Lola is not the most sturdy of vessels anymore. The bodies are in a very advanced state of decay – even the bones are rotting. Eorin attempts to cast “restore corpse” on one of the bodies, and it doesn’t work. The fungus blocks undead and is favored by assassins as well. It looks like someone came in and killed everyone – some of the corpses appear to have been killed while they were in the process of completing everyday tasks. Zelara spies heads in the water. We find more gooey bodies on the top deck of The Lola. The door to the captain’s quarters is locked. Eorin breaks open the door and we go inside. The fungus is growing in there, but it’s been growing in such a way that it looks as though someone kept it in there. We can see where it started – in a glass case in a potted plant area. We also find the Captain’s mirror, and laid out in front of it with great care, his razor, his beard, his peg leg, his uniform, and a makeup kit. It looks like the sort of peg-leg you could fit over your real leg. There is a blood covered rag, and the razor looks very well taken care of, and appears to be a war razor. Whoever was playing the character of Captain Oglaf clearly went out of their way to make the role believable. There are decades of journals with information about Oglaf. There are portraits of the Captain with people he must have known – not anyone famous. It’s possible that Captain Oglaf might have been a real person who was then assassinated and had their identity assumed by this imposter, but it’s difficult to tell if that’s the case or if the Captain was purely a false identity. There’s a hatch under the bed that leads directly to the exterior of the ship. Someone with the average height and weight of a human would have a difficult time squeezing through the hatch.  We also find a hidden compartment that’s a metal safe. We can’t open it and decide to extract it from it’s wooden surroundings and have Orias try to open it.

We go to the lower deck, and find tons of corpses. It’s clear that the captain killed the crew, and then prepared the bodies below decks where there is also a great deal of water to encourage the fungus to grow to cover their tracks and make finding any evidence difficult. We retrieve the safe and bring it out for Orias. The dock authority is at the exit waiting for us with plague masks and tools to eradicate the fungus. They hand us the fungicide spray and we get all nice and clean. We clean off the safe, and Orias manages to get it open.  However, the safe was trapped, and he’s stabbed in the neck by a dart, and Orias took 9 permanent con damage and is now blind. The safe turned out to be a music box and has a picture and a note inside. No one recognizes the lady in the picture because the only person who would is now blind, and the note says “Smile, no one cares how you feel.”

Eorin casts “Restoration” on Orias and he regains his eyesight and constitution. The picture is an iconography of Orias’ mother and there is an arm around her shoulders from a tall standing figure, and she is posed as though she were holding the hand of someone sitting next to her. However, neither of those other figures can be seen because they have been meticulously cut out of the picture. Orias recognizes the phrase on the note from someone who gave him a speech back in his early thief days in Riddleport about how a smile is the best disguise. Orias doesn’t know the man’s name, but he was tall, lanky, and has a perfectly groomed mustache. Orias would recognize him in a heartbeat.

Orias decides to spend his money to raise his sister from the dead. The healers at the Academy explain to Eorin (so he can explain to Orias, since they’re not used to dealing with people) that according to their tests, she died exactly when this murder supposedly occurred – meaning she may have been raised before only to be murdered by the ghoul. Secondly, there are signs of abuse – she was probably chained up at some point (her ankles are bruised), and there are stiches on her abdomen of the kind that only a master of the coronary arts could have performed. Her heart, liver, lungs, kidney etc were all taken, and she was filled with something deadly – if the healers hadn’t been as careful as they usually are, upon cutting her open, poison gas would have filled the room. (They used magic to look inside her, which is how they prevented this from occurring). They cannot, however, determine cause of death. They removed the poison gas, so her corpse is safe again, but resurrection will be expensive (at least 10k gold) and no one at the Academy knows how to perform that sort of divine magic. The healers also found a tooth with a hidden compartment in it in her mouth. Inside the tooth compartment there is a small rolled up scroll that has a small drawing of three red eyes on it. Eorin identifies it as a symbol given to those whom the River King trusts. It has to be on the body in order to be “official.”

We decide to go to the Pantheon of Many to find a cleric of Calistria in order to have Celeste resurrected. There are shrines to all the main gods/goddesses of Golarion in the building. Eorin goes to say a prayer to Pharasma. A shadow looms over him. He turns to see the young woman from the library in Absalom, Lorelai. He finishes his prayer, turning it into the extra long one halfway through. The shadow gets longer and he turns to see Jedah standing with Lorelai, commenting on how long Eorin’s prayer is. They have an awkward small conversation, and then Jedah hands him a hefty stack of paperwork and leaves. It’s an application for the entire group to join the Pathfinder Society. There are also similar forms for the Firebird’s Guild. Close inspection of the forms reveal that wee would have to choose between them, but both organizations do work together.

Kyle has a discussion with the statue of Cayden Cailen. He is displeased because she is on the road to drinking to excess. The two of them argue for a bit. Cayden is very concerned about how the onis are attracted Kyle and instructs her to keep it cool and only drink heavily on special occasions so she doesn’t end up like them.

Orias meets a priestess of Calistria and asks for a resurrection. She tells him they’re not the best at that type of thing, but that she’ll try to work out a deal for him, but it may take a day. Zelara goes to the shrine where Aroden used to be located. There isn’t anything there now, but someone is clearly keeping it cleaned and maintained. Apparently there are those who still believe he will return, and they keep his old shrine location clean.

Late in the evening, Orias gets a message from his temple that they can find someone to do the resurrection, but it will cost the normal amount to hire the spellcaster (910 gold) but he won’t have to pay for the spell components (diamond). Orias happily agrees, and sets a time for the resurrection the following day.

Illythan is at the Temple of Asmodius hiring someone to do paperwork for his business. He’s informed that someone is waiting for our group, and a messenger is sent to the Pantheon to retrieve the rest of us as well. We’re told that Stanley Highat Trinidad the 14^th Esquire, Eorin’s formal legal council, has been waiting for us for an hour, so we decide to go and see him. He would love it if we decide to go to Isger next. He’s from there, and Isger, much like Korvosa, belongs to Cheliax. The problem is, even with Cheliax’s wealth, Isger is still not getting the attention it needs. It’s a spawning pool for goblinoids and there’s an undead problem in the south. The only parts being protected are the trading routes and the river. It’s a place that’s getting very little help regarding military/martial support. So we’ll help a lot of people by going there. It’s also where the River King might be located, which would be something Orias might want to check out, plus there aren’t many temples to Pharasma so Eorin will be able to escape some of their harassment. Stanley says he’ll leave us to discuss amongst ourselves in his office and leaves.

Zelara explains the vision she had from the Whispering Tyrant about how the Army of Exploration that’s connected to Ravagug is our common enemy and that he knew who had set Eorin up and heavily implied that it was connected to the Army of Exploration. Eorin also brings up the paperwork from the Firebirds and the Pathfinder Society. If we join the Firebirds, we get an action figure automatically – being in the comic book is not assured. Firebird rules: we cannot be hired as mercenaries in a war, no assassinations, don’t be an evil jackass, etc. Pathfinder rules: you have to write down the information, people have to help each other, all knowledge goes back to the Pathfinders and they have it published. We decide to join the Firebirds, and Eorin gets started on the paperwork right away with much gusto. Illythan also tells us all that he’s willing to start selling us shares in his new company.

Stanley comes back in and explains to us that the guy who was pretending to be from the Temple of Pharasma has escaped. He also tells us that he had bribed the guards, and that’s why they wouldn’t let Kyle talk to him. Stanley then hands Kyle a bill for the pencils she erased (plus legal fees) that comes to 5k gold. The bill is specifically for Kyle to pay, even the legal fees, out of spite because Kyle erased all his pencils. They two haggle for a little and they come to an agreement for Kyle to pay him 1k gold.

The Trial

Decided to go with the Hell Knights and face Chelaxian justice rather than face trial at Carrion Hill or within the Church of Pharasma. Carrion Hill is likely to be a mob, and we’re vaguely convinced someone within the Church of Pharasma is out to get Eorin. The Hell Knights have decided to take the trial to Korvosa, the nearest Chelaxian colony. They are also offering to teleport in witnesses and experts (like those from the academy).

So we go to Korvosa. Via teleport.  They’re holding the trial inside the Abjuration building of the Academy. People who have shown up:

Mayor of Carrion Hill

Lord Vorik

Action Bastard

Davor

Guy from the Temple of Pharasma (who I grew up with and is a douche, also an inquisitor)

Prince Zuri of Geb

Some important so and so from the Pathfinder Society

Lorelai (only person to witness me in the library in Absolom)

Starchy the Gravedigger from Podunk

Marduzi (Zelara’s brother)

Outside of the Academy is the shovel gang that Eorin unintentionally inspired. Eorin’s defense recommends that Orias and Illythan not be present for the trial due to their reputations. The lawyer is red and has horns and has done thorough research on ALL OF US. The lawyer hands Illythan a very large envelope full of smaller envelopes relating to his inheritance. Illythan tries to turn down the money, which leads to a discussion of him being replaced with a doppelganger.  The lawyer says that the man who has been fighting for Illythan’s inheritance on his behalf insisted, and gives Illythan a carpet. It’s a flying carpet with a map on it.  It’s got an enchantment on it that’s designed to lead you to a specific point on the map.

Lawyer is Stanley Highhat Trinidad the 14^th esquire. He recommends that Oiras and Illythan leave again because of their less than legal histories. The Pharasma representative is here to prosecute me, but under the guise that Eorin didn’t do it willingly. Temple of Irori has also taken an interest in the case. They heard Eorin was a knowledgeable person, and think Eorin’s on the wrong path. Davor has also brought someone who wishes to make a deal unrelated to the case. Stanely leaves the room briefly.

Davor brings in a full blooded orc with him who dresses similarly to Eorin: aka like a nerd. He explains that he used to be a half orc, but was able to purge the human part of him out through the powers of alchemy. The orc explains he thinks he can purge the vampiric bits out of him. Eorin is exasperated about how everyone knows about this, and Action Bastard admits to stealing the secret journal the litch had on them and telling people. Eorin decides to not seek out this solution prior to the trial, but will re-consider after it’s over. He doesn’t want to rely on a lie to prove his innocence. Kyle decides to use her magical pencil eraser to erase all of Stanley’s pencils.

Stanley comes back in the room and asks where all his pencils are. The lawyer is concerned about the character witnesses and experts because of Eorin’s religion. They bring in the head of Necromancy from the Academae: Joseph. Joseph crouches down to get through the door because he’s over 7ft tall and made mostly of a mixture of metal and bone. He’s got great big billowing robes and a monocle. Zelara’s eyes start glowing.  An awkward silence ensues. He offers to show how the whole thing could have gone down, and proceeds to show us a mechanical puppet show to demonstrate how animate dead works. The corpses utilized in the case (the victim and the body that was animated) are in transit from Ustalaav and will arrive in a week.

Starchy the gravedigger comes in next with a black eye. He explains that the church of Pharasma excommunicated him for wanting to support Eorin. And some guys threatened him if he testified on Eorin’s behalf. Then they beat him up. We healed him up good. The Mayor of Carrion Hill is also there, saying that he doesn’t believe Eorin did anything wrong. He reveals the undead in question was a ghoul. And the ghoul in question is the one pointing the finger at Eorin. Prince Zuri comes in next, and he’s only there because his adoptive father, Joseph, asked him to be there.

Eorin explains to his lawyer about the experience with the Evil Outsiders who tried to cause him to loose faith. The lawyer asks Kyle to go find the highest priest of Cayden Cailen so we can get Cayden Cailen as a witness that there’s a conspiracy against Eorin. Then Lorelai comes in looking really displeased. She’s Zuri’s sister. She’s there to confirm that Eorin was really only in the library in Absalom.

Eorin then meets in private with one of the heads of the Pathfinder society who is also Zuri and Lorelai’s sibling. He lectures Eorin on him and Zelara painting all undead with the same brush. He also says that he wants to help Eorin prove his innocence.

Meanwhile, Orias and Illythan went on a side adventure to start a legitimate business. No really, no quotes. It’s actually legit. And find out stuff to do with Illythan’s father. Eorin doesn’t know much about it, he was busy with his lawyer at the time.

Back in Korvosa, Zelara had a meeting with a member of the Shining Crusade who was possessed by Tar Baphon. He tried to convince her not to come after him, but rather focus on the false Army of Exploration. He gives her a book.

The book has a footnote in it mentions two pages of particular notice. The mutilated symbol of the Army of Exploration looks like an image people thought the depiction was of Rovagug, but it’s a mistranslation. Footnote says it’s really the son of Rovagug. The son of Rovagug is also known as everyone’s favorite monster: the Tarrasque. On the second page there’s a picture of an eye, but there’s something unnatural about it. The pupil is split like a goat’s eyes. There’s a footnote that says at certain points in history, unknown, unnatural birds started appearing, and a cult formed around these birds. The cult was known as the Defenders of Rovagug. They believe if their god (the weird bird thing) and Rovagug’s child ever joined forces, they would be unstoppable. The footnote says it might be a corrupted phoenix (or perfected b/c that’s what aberrations think of it.)

Kyle was able to find someone who can procure the false prophets that made Eorin think he was talking to the gods. Kyle has a note written on a bar napkin saying so.

Meanwhile, Illythan and Orias go and investigate Illythan father’s vast horde which neither of them are allowed to touch. Orias almost has an aneurysm at all the treasure he’s not allowed to touch. There’s a man there who takes them further into the treasure room. He has a drunkenly tied turban and a large jug of wine. Illythan ties Orias’ hands together to prevent him from stealing. He hands Illythan a small wooden boat. It looks like a Viking long boat, only gravy boat sized. Orias slips his bonds, but the drunk man tells him not to touch anything or else. Then the drunk does something that forces Orias to fall asleep. The drunk man wishes them the best of luck, and then ushers Illythan and Orias out locks the horde room behind them.

Back at the trial, the false prophets have been brought in. They were brought in kicking and screaming by a very large oni. They won’t admit to who hired them, but they are asura. Kyle and Zelara decide to try and track down the guys that beat up Starchy. They find them and their other set of working cloths. They’re not with the Temple of Pharasma, they’re with the Army of Exploration. They bring the men to the lawyer to stand trial. The Hell Knights interrogate them. They do tell us that it’s the prosecutor (the Inquisitor from the Temple of Pharasma) who hired them.

We bring the matter before the judge, who is the smallest human we have ever seen. Judge introduces himself as Curtis Ares. The Firebirds sell old black and white comics of him in which he’s much bigger, muscular, and punches things in the astral plane, but still has the same hat and mustache. We get the prosecutor thrown into prison for assault. The Hell Knights interrogate him, and will be holding a separate trial for him. Kyle helps Eorin craft a letter to the priesthood as Pharasma saying they shouldn’t excommunicate Starchy because he’s done nothing wrong, and they should excommunicate Eorin since he hasn’t been proven guilty, and that the Inquisitor engaged in witness intimidation and is a bad person. Because of Kyle’s help, it’s actually a good letter.

The Inquisitor turns out was not a priest of Pharasma, but was actually an Inquisitor of Norgorbur (the reaper of reputation). He’s had a grudge against Eorin since they were kids and Eorin was accepted by the church even though he accidentally summoned undead. He had been lying to the entire priesthood for quite some time, and the priesthood was surprised to find out about it. They re-enstate Starchy, however, tell Eorin he needs to choose. He can either purge the taint of his blood and reject his family, or be excommunicated and leave the church, and the temple will bear no ill will towards him.

Eventually, the ghoul and the body of the victim arrive. The ghoul is laughing manically as he’s dragged away. Then the body of the victim is revealed, and it’s Orias’ older sister.